T h e   A r t   o f   Q u e e n ' s   R e t u r n

by Virginia Kalinauskene and Alex Tyshkewich

     "...The way we women express ourselves in the world, the way we live, the way we look, depends on how we balance our life with the world. Everything we do has an influence on it, one way or another. Harmony or chaos, youthfulness and creative beauty or aging and illness. Everything depends entirely on us."

     "Is it possible to restore harmony, if it was lost?" asked a girl with a very short golden haircut who was sitting apart from the group of women.

     Virginia nodded affirmatively and answered:

     "Yes, it’s possible. That's what I'm going to teach you… I'll try to teach you wonders…"

     "And how this is going to happen? What are we going to do?" The girls started talking all at once.

     "First of all, I would like to remind you about so called feminine energy and its presence in our bodies… It’s important that you first try to do what I suggest and only after that think about what it is and how it agrees with your own judgments…"

     Virginia was looking at the girls with the wide open eyes. In the diffuse dim light her pupils appeared to be enormous. The girls listened to her very attentively, all of a sudden becoming quiet and moving their bodies forward, like rabbits before a boa-constrictor; and Virginia continued:

     "To be revealed the feminine energy doesn’t require any special constructions, any schemes for self-suggestion. It's given by Mother Nature at birth - we were born women possessing the energy of this quality. This quality, the female energy, is present in every woman. This usually is seldom realized. It exists, but only to the extent of how much the real necessity of being a Woman and not an object was called for by your life.

     "Could you explain in more detail?" The girls’ interest was growing.

     "Before we are able to do anything substantial, it would be nice, if you could, at least, come in touch with your place of power… Let’s sit in a circle… Do all of the girls and women here know where the womb is located in the physical body? Don’t be surprised to hear this question. There are women that don’t know. So, the place of power in a woman's body is the womb…"

     "Does it matter, if there was a surgical intervention in that area?"

     "Any surgical interventions and resulting changes don’t affect the energetic place of power. At the energetic level they couldn’t cut out or remove anything from you. Don’t worry about it."

     "Now make yourself comfortable and exhale deeply and slowly several times. Completely relax your exhaling, and observe how your whole body gradually relaxes. Concentrate on the womb area. Try to feel the womb in your body, touch it with your attention as much as possible…"

     "What kind of sensation should be in the body?"

     "At first, a sensation of an internal strangeness is possible - because we are seldom aware of this energy in our everyday life. Our womb is forgotten. Orient yourself in there without hurry and try to calm down perpetually sounding internal dialogs, which generate judgments, conflicts, fears. We are pressured and strained and don’t allow ourselves any spaces, any spheres, or pot bellies in this area. Therefore a conflict is possible, when you need to relax."

     "It tickles," the Golden Haircut started to giggle.

     "Defocus your eyes, relax your body and focus all your attention on the womb, gently but firmly. What do you sense right now?" Virginia was insistently impressing the words upon the group and kept her attentive eyes on them.The girls tried to convey their experiences:

     "As soon as I focus my attention on the womb, my abdomen relaxes right away…"

     "Something comes to life in there, and some inner space opens up…"

     "I have a feeling of warmth in the womb and a presence of a special kind of energy…"

     "Now, we are getting accustomed to this quality of energy, and directing the energy flow into the womb, feeling how it comes down from above, as a light field Focus you attention: the flow is going downward and accumulating in the womb creating a kind of volume. Relax your body as much as possible and fill up the womb as an accumulative space. Do not close your eyes. When the womb is completely full, then the whole body begins to be filled with this energy. It is spreading to your legs, back arms, neck, head, to all parts of your body. Now your body is completely filled with the energy of this quality."

     "It's swaying me," someone said very quietly.

     "Listen how your physical body is sounding now. Is this state familiar to you? Has it ever happened to you in your life? Let this quality of energy into yourself - and all your thoughts, emotions, all physical movements and sensations are now being formed by exactly this kind of energy… very interesting thoughts are going to appear… Listen carefully to this quality of energy inside yourself - and you will be able to discover a kind of warmth, a mild vibration, a wave motion spreading throughout your body and seizing your thoughts, emotions and body movements. They are being built into this wave as well, and your self-perception is unfolding in a slightly different way. This is the first touch to your "feminine wave". The feminine energy is similar to a wave…"

     "Is it very much like a stream flow?"

     Virginia compared feminine energy to water in different conditions: flowing, falling, rising, motionless...

     "I've got a dew drop..."

     "Yes, this is also a stream flowing, a lake surface, and an ocean's depth. Let your body remember this first experience of a wave in yourself; and let your senses, emotions and - a little bit - brain remember it too."

     "Looks like I am already being carried somewhere," muttered the Haircut.

     Virginia laughed and said:

     "Let's do the following: direct the wave out of yourself along your body, uniting our circle in this immense mutual wave, raising-descending to the sea or running in a murmuring creek. We are all different - listen and feel it yourself what kind of water you are. And we are uniting all these different vibrations in the resonance of our circle. Intensify your experiences through relaxation. Release your own vibration into the circle, filling up this space as a whole, and continue all together, in resonance."

     The space of the room began to sway and flow. The girls joined in an intangibly relaxed swaying of the circle, enchanted by this self-discovery.

     "Next, deepen the resonance and the swaying energy is engaging your body in a kind of a dance. Is is a dance of waves; and we are sending our body into it, to awake our body and to let it move freely. The body is moving on its own. Thighs, shoulders are dancing their own dance. It’s the most beautiful dance that can ever happen. A wonderful dance, when a woman releases herself into creative energy; and everything one wants to express and that is possible to be expressed consists not of words but of indescribable beauty of the dance. Everything is allowed in this dance. Everything - from the abyss of destruction up to the peak of bliss, every wish to yourself and to the World.

     The Noiseless was observing something miraculous. The women’s faces and bodies were changing in a subtle stream of images that live in human culture and in a more ancient experience. The body movements were unrecognizable, sometimes elegantly fluid, and some turns were wild and frightening. And Virginia kept adding to the temptation of the beginner wizardresses, “returning queens”:

     "Tune yourself in. We are attaching the flow of the feminine energy underneath. There is a flow from above and a flow from underneath at the same time. The infinite ocean of wisdom of the women's world that has existed for all times of the humankind history in the past, present and future is uniting in the body. There you can find your origins, all your women’s births, your present and your possible future. Now let’s make an inner request to the Feminine Flow:

    The joining request:

     I, Woman, speak to the Feminine Flow and desire to accept this Flow, this Wisdom, and this Eternity, which is dissolved in Reality. My request to the Feminine as an acceptance of Initiation and my Initiation as a possibility for a smaller to experience a larger whole.

    "The request comes from your place of power. The inner request sent above in waiting for the Meeting. A quiet resort of a woman to the world of the feminine Mystery, to something greater than you always were, you are and you will be. In the space of your request, in the space of your woman's destiny. From the very first touch The Flow penetrates you, blesses all your body going from head to toes and accumulates in your place of power – the womb."

     The girls whispered repeating the words after Virginia. The lips of the Noiseless moved too - he felt somewhat strange but continued to carefully observe the scene.

     "You can try this request formula on your own again and again. You can use this energy, play with it, enjoy this energy of the dialog with the World. Nothing ceases to be in the Feminine quality, - one can’t stop the water - it permeates everywhere; and so the transition from one movement to another doesn’t turn the energy off. Relax all your body without turning the energy off. Sit down.

     The Noiseless suddenly noted that he was repeating everything that happened on the “scene” – energetic constructions, dance-like body movements, expressions, separate words – and now he is also sitting on the floor relaxed. And those were not fantasies, but very real experiences,in which he could simultaneously exist in two spaces – an observer and a participant of those spatial plastique. During the next several months, when he was trained by Virginia, the Noiseless discovered that it wasn’t just a figment of the imagination. But at this moment it was a specific state. Meanwhile, Virginia continued:

     "The form of an improvised dance itself cuts out from the World the possibility for creatively realizing yourself in yourself. You have to find and use the forms of creative women's self-realization in life. Do whatever comes to you. The main thing is not to sleep while waiting for Godot, while waiting for exact greeting or instruction written on a white sheet. I don’t mean the functional duties. One can’t live in this state all the time. It’s euphoric, it’s extremely relaxing. Then the first exaltation goes down.But one can live in an abundance of this energy without being carried away - because the euphoria will not cause exaltation … And now we are going to take this state off because an energetic weariness can come quickly since you have no experience.

     Addressing the Haircut, Virginia added:

     "A certain discomfort is possible, when one wants to spread thin in all this: you are spreading around, but something snatches you and brings you back. You go with the flow. Therefore, being a woman is not always comfortable. You have to remember and pay attention. Both men and women live together, work together; but if we unexpectedly reveal ourselves in the quality of a Woman to the people around us – be prepared that it will lead to a conflict with men because "The Other" Woman (not familiar to them) will be heard; and everybody is very sensitive to that. Nonetheless, try to start your own rhythm of life and live in this female quality... a lot will change or require to be changed… Not every woman is able to to experience such a relaxation even when the feminine and the masculine combine in the intimate world of love. And this is a place of power of a woman. This is the Meeting which is so desired…"